Being separated isn't entirely bad. You know, in many ways, this is very good for me. No kidding. There are lots of aspects to this that do work. Others? Well, not so much.
When you have lived with someone over two decades, you get used to having people (or at least, certain persons) around you. The transition to being on my own, at least from this perspective, has been relatively easy.
The simple fact is that I don't mind being physically alone for large blocks of time. In fact, there's a part of me that prefers it! I really do OK by myself. Most of the time, isolation and solitude are not a problem for me. Those are elements that I really do appreciate.
What's hard for me? My mind. Especially at this time of the night. "It" says some of the most vile shit to me. Stuff that I would be hard pressed (or downright embarrassed) to intentionally speak to another person. I kind of think of it like "being possessed", because I don't think it's really all that different or far from the truth of the matter.
I sure wish it would shut up and leave me alone.
Postscript
I planned on sleeping in today, but "it" woke me up at 05:15 AM.
Went to sleep late and then woke up early.
Damn.
It's going to be a long day.
:-(
Gayle said:
ReplyDeleteI kinda know what you mean!
I accidentally deleted the comment. Sorry, Gayle. Oops. First time, last time.