It's been a while, eh?

 It certainly has been a while, hasn't it?

I wonder if anyone actually reads the blog or not.

Maybe this is just my space for giving the "inside your head voice" a way to come outside for a little bit.

I will be posting more soon.

Why?

I've got things to say and it's been too long since I've let my thoughts come out and play.

A "Blast From The Past"

I don't know if it's the same for you, but my Google Drive has become a sort of "Digital Dustbin." There are files stored that haven't been relevant for a very, very long time. As I was digging through the directories, I came across a letter that I wrote to Kate after we broke up. What did I write? Well, let's see...

It's been a while...

 Yes, indeed. It's been a while. I'm feeling the need to write -- get my thoughts out of my head and down in some tangible format. The simple fact is that this helps me process my thoughts and feelings. On this basis alone, I should probably be writing on a daily basis! LOL

Crying... Welcome to 2020

Normally, a new year is a source of inspiration for me.

Thinking about all the good things that lie ahead in the months to come.

Not this year...

This year, I'm at the stage where about all I can do is cry!

I'm lonely, masturbating as a primary form of sexual expression, and I find myself getting angrier all the time.

I fucking hate my life!!

This is not what I wanted for my "new year" :-(

2020 can kiss my fucking ass!!!

The Boiled Frog Effect

There's an old story about how to boil a frog and it goes something like this:

You can't just "boil a frog"

If you throw them into boiling water, they'll likely manage to jump out.

The temperature difference is a true shock to their system.

How do you do it?

Put them in the water at a normal temperature.

Gradually heat the water, letting the frog get used to the change over time.

At some point, the water is hot enough to boil and the frog is screwed.

You've just boiled a frog.

You're likely wondering, "how exactly does this relate to your life, John?!"
That would be a good question to ask.

Let me attempt to explain...

When do you call it over?!

This question has been weighing heavily on my mind for some time.
I started writing this in January of this year and never finished.
Tonight, it feels like the right time to publish what I'd completed thus far.

If you dare, have a look at the strange depths of my thinking...

Which is it, really?! O.o

When you say "I love you," I want you to know that I hear the words you're saying.
Despite this, there is a thought that stands out in my mind...

Is it because you really do love me and want me to know it?
          OR
Are you trying to convince yourself that you do?

Inquiring minds want to know...