The Boiled Frog Effect

There's an old story about how to boil a frog and it goes something like this:

You can't just "boil a frog"

If you throw them into boiling water, they'll likely manage to jump out.

The temperature difference is a true shock to their system.

How do you do it?

Put them in the water at a normal temperature.

Gradually heat the water, letting the frog get used to the change over time.

At some point, the water is hot enough to boil and the frog is screwed.

You've just boiled a frog.

You're likely wondering, "how exactly does this relate to your life, John?!"
That would be a good question to ask.

Let me attempt to explain...

Things are coming apart at high speeds.

My relationship with Sally is at an all-time low point.

We're spending more time apart than we are together.

When we are together, there seems to be more conflict than anything else.

She's out seeing other people a lot.

More often than not, I'm likely at home by myself.

My needs are not getting taken care of and now I'm finding myself becoming actively resentful about it.

She keeps putting all of the responsibility for our relationship on me.

I am the one who needs to ______________________.

Fill in the blank with whatever you like.

She said the other day that my communication skills are horrible.

I don't hear this from other women I am dating/involved with.

I think that this is just another symptom of the long-time issues we've had around how we communicate with each other (or our inability to).

She makes her other partners a priority.

Ensures that they schedule dates. Makes time to go to lunch every week.

With the introduction of The Proprietor (See meet the cast for updates), now she wants to have regular overnights at his place.

We're rapidly approaching renewal of the lease on the property.

By the time this happens, I am expecting that I will have had enough and "drop the hammer."

What exactly does that mean or look like?!

1. Taking sole responsibility for the finances surrounding the house

2. Revoking our formal D/s agreement, as it's now pretty well useless, given the changes in our relationship

3. Asking for a "Separation" (in place), which will likely end up in my petitioning for a divorce

She wants to have her cake and eat it too.

Said another way, she wants me and everyone else, but on her terms.

That's not a viable path forward for me.

She recently accused me of giving the best of myself to other people on dates.

Well, I don't feel that way. I think that is nonsense.

I'm just trying to keep from going stir crazy alone in my house or working my ass to death.

She tells me yesterday morning "When do I get happy John back?"

She told me that I was either mopey around her or short tempered with her.

Seriously?? Mopey?! MOPEY?!?!?

I tell her about my problems at work.

I tell her what I need from her.

I need companionship. I need sex. I need intimacy.

I am not getting these things.

With my fucked situation at work (more later), the level of stress just keeps increasing.

All of this is adding to that.

It's difficult to experience compersion when you're profoundly unhappy.

At this point, that isn't an exaggeration -- it might even be an understatement!

If I'm not careful, I am going to fucking keel over and die.

I don't want that. I'm not ready to die yet.

Something has to break here and I don't want it to be me.

It seems like things just keep escalating and piling up... little by little.

In subtle ways that few would really notice or acknowledge.

Until that point where everything just explodes.

Just like the boiled frog...