Gunfight At The OK Corral

I've never been much of a betting man. In fact, I tend to be pretty horrible at it. I think I'm missing all of the core skills one needs to be good at it. Still, I am betting that today will not be a good day and there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. Why?

Because my choices are always influenced by the wrong things. I say the wrong stuff at the wrong time. My timing is off. I zig when I should zag. I speak when I should shut up and vice versa. Well, you get the picture. It's not a pretty one, I can assure you that.

It seems as though all roads have been leading to this single event -- what I am calling the "gunfight at the OK corral".

Over the past few days, Sally and I have been either talking or fighting via text and IM. It's not been at all fun for either of us, including a little spat last night. We exchanged some email about it just a little while ago. After my last mail response to her, which contained a grand total of 8 words (I think it's a personal record for me), she sent me a text message asking me to have lunch with her today.

As soon as she asked I knew that this would completely screw up my entire day, but I said yes anyway. Why?

Because, like the post title says, I believe that this is it. This will be the point where she tells me face-to-face that this is it. No more.

It'll be just like an old western...
We'll meet in the center of a dusty old town...
Dry winds blowing, tumbleweeds in the streets...

A classic face off with pistols at 10 paces with one difference.
I just know how this one ends before I step into it.
My draw will be too slow, my aim will be off.

I will be the one that gets shot through the heart and dies.

It doesn't mean that I expect to come to any sense of peace or closure about it. Not even close.
I expect that it's going to be a lot worse before it gets any better.
The hard part is that it's already unbearable.

I fully expect that a part of me will die today.
Given everything that's happened, it's probably timely and fitting.
It doesn't mean that I have to like it.