The "New Normal"

I don't even know how to start this off. I'm sitting here from the keyboard, slightly shocked, unable to find an appropriate starting place for my comments.

Why, you ask? Well, I got a phone call from Sally yesterday and this caught me completely off guard.

Let me tell you why...

She told me that she has asked Rick for divorce.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Based upon our last conversation, I thought that it might be one day, some day or at some point in the distant future. Every instinct, every bone in my body was telling me that this was not going to happen. As it turns out, my instincts and "gut feel" were entirely wrong.

I don't claim to understand the impact of this or where it's going to go. I know that there's going to be a significant time that will need to pass in order for her to feel comfortable on her own and establish her life moving forward. Just like when my life changed, there is no short or easy answer to it. Everyone has to go through their own process of grieving and adapting, to be ready for the next phase of life.

At the same time, I don't want to be so hands off that looks like I am trying to give her space, when what she really wants and needs is to be connected with someone. I think this is going to be a very delicate balancing act -- not too close, not too far. It's not something I know how to do well or have a lot of experience with. Despite that, I will try to do my best and be there for her.

She's already said some things to me that are a bit acerbic, but I know that this is the "upset" talking, not how she really feels about me. I guess in a certain sense, it also might be her testing to see how serious I actually am. She's experienced a lot of betrayal lately and I certainly don't want to add to her burden.

The timing in which this is coming together is going to present me with a challenge -- what do I do about the situation with Kate? I just don't know.

I know that I'm going to have to give this some serious thought. How things unfold from here are going to affect my life (as well as the lives of Sally and Kate) for a long time to come.

It looks like that within a very short period time my wife will once again become unrecognizable.

Welcome to the "new normal"