Well, it was certainly interesting.
Why? Well, let's dig in a little and see...
"The Date"
First thing to note is that she suggested the outing, which I am a big fan of.
It would be out to a club to watch a friend of hers perform.
We decided that we'd meet early for drinks.
I selected a place that we were both interested in going.
Fortunately, it wasn't that far away from where the performance would be.
We got to the bar and got lost in conversation with each other.
She's very, very interesting and engaging.
Not in the small talk kind of way, but she asks interesting questions and is doing interesting stuff with her work.
I'm happy to report that this is not all one-sided.
She leaves lots of space for me to talk and I do the same.
It's pretty refreshing to talk with someone who has a strong sense of listening.
I guess in her case, this is likely an occupational hazard.
I could probably say the same thing.
After drinks, we headed to the venue.
It's a cute little improv company, focused on skits.
Several acts for their show and much of it was quite entertaining.
Some of it was quite monotonous.
Admission was free, so I guess I got what I paid for! LOL
We chatted with her friend for a bit.
He and I really hit it off.
I came to discover they have a need for musicians to work with the comics.
This seems like something that might be attractive to me to pursue.
I told he and Susan that, all agreeing that a future meeting might be warranted.
The show ended rather early, so we went off to find another drink.
We sat in the bar and talked some more.
I was feeling really connected and comfortable around her.
I could tell that she was too.
When the evening was over, I had to take her back to her car.
When I parked, the first thing that she did was wrap her arms around me.
What followed, I wasn't quite prepared for.
She proceeded to tell me that she really thought I was a pretty amazing guy.
She also told me that she was very attracted to me.
Then she told me that she was reticent about getting closer to me, because I was unavailable... being married and all.
Interestingly, she knew that when we went out on date #1.
She said that she knew that if things continued, she'd fall for me.
Then, at some point, if things changed, she'd end up getting hurt.
As a result, she wanted to "stay as friends" and not get physically intimate.
I told her that I was disappointed, but I would respect her wishes on this
So it seems that we went from "Autobahn" to "School Zone" in about 10 ms!
A pretty radical shift, indeed!!
"The Hangover"
OK, maybe not a literal hangover, but certainly a reaction...
We were texting the next day and it was clear to me that she's still more than a bit interested.
She wants to see me again and I want to see her.
In fact, I want a lot more than that -- I want to fuck her silly!
Even more now than before.
Yes, she had a defensive reaction to the chemistry.
I'm sure that resulted in getting her guard up, as she's not had a lot of relationships over the past years.
I think that it'd be great for us to have a relationship with each other.
I am not willing to give up just yet!
Does it mean that it'll work out well? Not even close.
But I am going to continue to pursue her.
I want her to know that I'm not going anywhere.
I want her to see that if she let's me into her life, I will be around.
That doesn't mean that I would leave Sally for her, but truth be told, I'm planning on her jumping shift in Aug/Sep this year anyway.
Also, I think that Susan and I would be good together.
Damn, what a strange conversation to be having with myself.
"Sally's Wild Ride"
As it turns out, this has also caused some consternation around the house.
Specifically, Sally has started to experience jealousy.
I am glad to see this, as now she'll get a little taste of what life has been like for me. I'm not as much jealous of her being with someone else, as I am of not being able to have the opportunity myself.
Given I stayed out fairly late, this got her worked up into a bit of a tizzy! She was telling me about this the next morning.
"What if you were out having sex?"
Yeah, well? What if?!?! That's one of my goals.
She's been getting fucked by The Fool for a while now.
What is the major fucking difference here?!
Oh, now it's me getting some, not just her.
She doesn't have a say or control over who I fuck.
That is now becoming an issue -- imagine that!
It'll be interesting to see how this plays out over time.
The "New John"
One of the things I hadn't really thought about was how my life had changed since Sally and I have been together. In recent years, given the dynamics of our relationship, I'd often feel as though I wasn't worth all that much. Like I was somehow defective or unable to be a full partner, because of my interactions with Sally. Convincing myself that all of our problems were somehow all on my back, my problems, my responsibility.
Well, in just two dates, I've reversed that thinking entirely!
I'm quite clear that I can totally be myself and be:
- Charming
- Funny
- Respectful
- Open
- Generous
and a whole host of other things!
and that there are women out there who appreciate these things/qualities!!!
Some that might even want to be with me!!!!!
Forgive me, but this is rather shocking. I am not used to this at all.
I like where this is going and I'm going to keep pursuing it.
It's my time and attention.
I'm going to see if this has legs or not!
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