Sally - The Next Evolution

Yes, you read that right. There is a next evolution here and I'm happy about it. It doesn't include a return to the old ways. In fact, it doesn't bear much of a resemblance to it. We're working to discover what this "new normal" looks like.

Just over a week ago, we had a chance to spend some quality time together and talk to each other. One of the important things was that it wasn't just her talking and me listening -- I had a chance to talk to and tell her a bit about what life has been like for me over the past few months. It was an eye opener for her. She didn't really understand what the past months have been like for me. The toll of all the stress and disruptive change in my life.

We both agreed that going back to "business as usual" was unworkable. We also agreed that, despite how tough it might be for us, we both want the other person in our life in some form or fashion. Yes, at times it will likely be hard, but it's likely just harder to try and shut the other out. It will get better over time. Our relationship is changing and evolving.

Sally has the harder time with it, as she wants to have the "best of both worlds". She wants me, but she doesn't want to give up her life the way that she knows it. Well, sucks to be her then. I don't say that with an intention to be mean, but more along the lines of that "this isn't the way that life works." Each of us has to make choices and we can't be all upset when those choices aren't all we want them to be.

She's pretty much decided how our relationship is going to unfold, so I am just moving forward and doing what I need to do. I don't intend to torture her about who I am dating or how things are going. In fact, for a while at least, I don't plan on discussing it at all. No sense in picking at an open wound, right? Indeed. That would just be mean and that's not me. I so love and appreciate her. I wouldn't think of doing that.

I keep reiterating the truth about things to her -- I love her with all my heart and I always will. The part that I gave to her I cannot take back, nor would I if I could. She's too important to me. If at some point, she decides that she needs to have time alone, because she cannot be around me, then OK. I will not run away from her because it's hard or inconvenient.

At the same time, I cannot put my life on hold. She made me promise that I would not do that and I agreed. It's the right thing to do for both of us. Two adults that truly love each other can figure something out that is workable.

One thing is for sure -- it's going to be interesting!