Since our first round of conversations on Saturday, things have been a bit "dicey" with Sandy. Yeah, there's a discernible tension in the air between us. Even when we're around others, it's completely noticeable. There's no longer any appearance of being a couple. It's clear that we are parting. It makes it hard for people around us sometimes, as it's likely more difficult for them than us.
Why? Well, people know what's going on and I understand that it can be difficult to know what to say, how to start a conversation, what to not talk about, etc. You know, the normal stuff about what you can and can't say to people. The truth is that we are probably better talking about this with others than we are with ourselves. It's both sad and a direct example of why we're at the stage that we're at now.
Right now, there are still some things to discuss, but for the most part it's just handling the logistics of getting her stuff out of my house and sent to hers. In less than a week, she'll be off to start a new life without me. I am both happy and sad. Something is ending and something is starting for both of us. There's no amount of rationalizing or explaining that makes this nice. It's screwed and that's it.
Normally, I don't entertain thoughts about "just getting through it", but right now, that's proving to be hard enough.
It has been said that divorce is like a death! So you are morning the end but it will get better!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Gayle. I appreciate your comment. It most certainly is. I think there will be a lot of grieving to do and expect that it will take time.
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