Holiday Cheer and Latest Updates

I've been slacking on my blogging, but it's not because nothing has been going on. Not even close. In fact, there's quite a bit happening on several fronts. If I had to choose a word to summarize it, that word would be "WOW!". Yeah, it's been like that.

Let's take them one at a time, shall we?

Sandy
She's now back from her trip and she's closed on her house. I've shipped a bunch of her stuff to her and the house is starting to empty out. I've taken her car in for major maintenance and new tires, so that she would be ready to do her relocation trip at the end of this month. We put down one of our problem pets and simplified things there.

We're meeting tomorrow to do more work on our separation agreement and talk about the path forward. It's going to be an interesting weekend and very well might have a significant shaping effect on Christmas and how we celebrate it. This will likely result in a whole set of posts on the topic.

The reality of our divergent lives is becoming more real every day. Both of us feel it and know that it is happening. I think it will all come to a head tomorrow. We'll see.

Sally
We had our day together on Monday and it was wonderful. I cooked a special dish for her, we made love, had a bath, enjoyed each others company and a whole bunch of other stuff. It was great.

This week she actually brought up the issue of seeing me regularly in the new year, as opposed to the random meetings that we've been having to date. I was very excited about this development. She'd never talked about that before and it was always a bit of an open question about the future. I think that she's a bit more "solid" about her relationship with me. She knows that she won't stay away from me -- she'll always want to come back for more and I want her to.

We also had an interesting exchange this week via e-mail. The net of why it was important came down to something that we had talked about earlier on IM. She noted that one of the people she interacted with on her social media account had "asked her to marry her". Of course, she was playing with me and I was already aware of this, but I used it to have some fun. When she sent me a mail with a picture. I told her that it was understandable that she was a beautiful woman and it was understandable that someone would ask her at some point.

I followed that up with a comment that it didn't matter to me, because whoever it was can go pound sand -- I'm first in line and have priority! :-)  She responded back to me that technically I never said that I wanted to marry her, only that I'd be willing to. The next few messages were pretty interesting, because over the course of them I got to tell her how I really felt:

If I thought that there was even a chance that she would say "yes", I would ask her to marry me in a second. Why? Because I really would like to spend the rest of my life with her.

The thing that you want to understand about this is that I was really scared to bring it up. The first time that I told her about the fact that I had been thinking about a long term future with her, she just about had a seizure. I'm not joking either. It was so beyond what she could consider, that she was just gonzo about it. So, I wasn't quite sure whether I was going to encounter another reaction or not. In spite of the risk, I thought that there's no reason for me to hold back. I'm going to say what I feel and go with it. If it's true, it can't be wrong.

She also made it clear this night (as well as previous discussions) that she didn't think that she would ever marry again. In the end she told me that she was glad that I said it. I thought that was an important piece of movement on her part. It was a better response than I had hoped for.

I guess the next few weeks over the holidays will be interesting for her. To my knowledge, she's not had sex with Ranger Rick yet and there was one night last week when he was (reportedly) really wanting it. Just so happens it was one of the days when we had been together. So far, she's avoided the issue, but given that they will be renting a house over the Christmas break for them and her children, it may not last the trip. I guess we'll see.

The mere thought of it just about sends me into a jealous rage, but I know that it's within the rules of the game. I cannot and would not ask her to not have sex with Rick. They are married and if they have sex, so be it. While I can understand it, that doesn't mean that I have to like it!! I've had this discussion with her too, so it's not like it's not up on the table.

At this point, it's a long shot whether or not we'll be able to work any time in together before Christmas. I'd love to do it, but her schedule is the key constraint here. There are other complicating factors here and if it doesn't work out, so be it. I won't complain. It'll be fine.

Laura
This is probably the biggest piece of new movement. Well, OK, maybe not. It is certainly the piece that I am most excited about the progress with.

You may recall Laura from my post talking about our first "coffee date". Well, truth be told, it wasn't likely as much a "date" for her, as it was for me. I used the cover of business to obtain this coffee date, so there was a professional component to it. I followed the rules and stayed true to it, but all along, my primary interest was a relationship with Laura.

She's in my industry, is tall, athletic build and very pretty. Needless to say, I do work related to computers and any time you have a woman around computers with those characteristics, you've identified a rare woman. If you do find one, you've likely found a salesperson, not a professional type.

Since our first face-to-face meeting, she and I have been talking via phone and e-mail. First to talk about her health and the follow up to our first meeting. Next about her trip home for Thanksgiving and then for her starting her new job as an IT manager. It was a nice little exchange we've had going -- and everything came to a head tonight.

I've been staying on her, because I knew that there was a point where I had to either convert this into a romantic relationship or just be happy with the professional version. I finally got a call back from her tonight as I was heading to an evening appointment. We talked for a bit about her job, her trip and a few other items -- so far so good. No major screw ups on my part. Thank goodness!!

So I asked her "so what are your plans for the weekend?"... see where I am going with this line of questioning? :-) She told me that she is moving! She's getting a larger place for herself, now that she is gainfully employed here. I told her that I thought that was great and we talked about how that would work a bit. Next I asked her "so what are your plans over Christmas?".

That led to a fun conversation about how IT people work when everyone else gets time off (that's when they typically have the ability to have key systems down for maintenance and not impact the customer). In the middle of this, I just came out and said something like "because, I would like for you and I to have dinner together". There was a momentary pause on the line before she came back and agreed to that. We left the exact timing up in the air, as she may very well try to head home to be with her family for the Christmas break.

Just the fact that I asked her and that she said that she'd be interested in doing that has humongous implications for me. For so long, I've had it in my head that no one that I am attracted to would really be interested in me and that I was somehow broken or defective. My relationship with Sally was the first data point I had to counter that. Of course, given the constraints of our relationship, it's easy to write this off as a "fluke" or "accident".

However things with Laura end up going, the fact is that I pushed myself outside of my comfort zone and really went for it. I didn't sell myself short or back down to avoid the possibility of failure. And I knew from the start that I could fail. Truth be told, I expected to fail! I expected to hear some excuse or "I just want to know you professionally" and to walk away with my tail tucked between my legs. Yes, this could have went really badly. She could have said she wasn't interested, that she was gay (like some kind of lame excuse) or any number of other things that would have just been a brush off.

I was ready to hear the "no". In fact, I was expecting to hear one! Well, just goes to show that ones expectations don't necessarily have anything to do with what really happens in life. As a result, because of this single conversation tonight, I've started to gain a confidence that I have never had in my entire life!

I can see a tiny ray of light about what the future holds for me and I am excited for it. Maybe, just maybe, I really am not the pathetic excuse for a man that I've been convinced that I am.

Desert Chick
OK. So, Desert Chick ("DC" for short) is a new entry into the cast. I wrote about her in an earlier post. I met her on an online dating site and we had a first date just about a week ago today. We'd been exchanging text messages and having a pretty good time with each other prior to actually meeting in person. As it turns out, she's "digging my chili" and she seriously wants to jump me. She's moving very, very fast and I had to take the lead in slowing things down.

Don't get me wrong. I like her a lot. I can even see our having sex with each other. Still, I was unwilling to just jump in and go for it with her.  She keeps pushing and I very well might grant her request. We'll see. I may just keep her at arms length for a little longer. At a bare minimum, we are going to have to have at least one more date, before we do anything serious. This will likely result in another blog posting too.

Summary
So that's the up-to-the minute (literally) update from my life. As I said, a lot has been happening and that should be evident by the content of the post, even if there isn't a whole lot of detail in some cases.

I don't expect that things are going to slow down for me. In fact, I expect that they are going to pick up. There's a lot of change coming and I am going to be ready for it. Or so I hope...