Mind The Gap

You see such admonishments all over London, when you are riding "the tube"... otherwise known to American's as "subways."

It's just as important in living one's life. Why do I say that? Let's have a look...

For the past 2-1/2 years, I've been doing exactly that. I've been on unsure footing for most of it, with one foot in a version of my life that wasn't working and another foot (and hand, I'd imagine) trying to get established in a life that wasn't quite ready for me yet.

It's not been easy for me, not even close. There were so many times that I was right on the edge of saying "FUCK IT ALL! I'm done and out of here!!"

I finally answered the question "can I keep going long enough until this plays out?"

The answer is "yes, I can."

It's really been one of the toughest times of my life. As of right now, all that is history.

There are new challenges ahead, new things to confront.

Building a life with Sally is the top of my list.

Since we last talked, lots have moved on the Sally front:

• She's had the tough conversation with both of her children.
• She's told almost all of the people that she felt needed to know before she made it generally known.
• They are about to go public to the rest of their friends and family about their divorce.

From what she's told me, they have had all the discussions that they need to about how to split up the joint assets and spousal support arrangements. I imagine that they'll complete the paperwork shortly and get it filed. I told her that I thought it'd be worthwhile having the conversation about the split first and reaching a preliminary agreement between themselves. Once that's done, then they can use a legal professional to help with drafting the documents. From my perspective, it's time and money well spent to have people that know what they're doing helping you get it right the first time.

Rick has moved into the spare bedroom and is planning on being out of the house and relocating by end of 2012. I could just about do fucking cartwheels around my house, I am so happy!!!

She is starting a new job and the remaining months of the year will be logistically challenging for us both, as Sally and I are going to have to work extra hard at planning the time that we'll spend together. Much of the flexibility that we had will no longer be available. There's no possible way we can see less of each other than we have in the past, so I am not stressing about it. It'll be fine.

In the end, fuck it. I can do 90-days standing on my head!!! Come 2013, it's a brand new game. The first year of the rest of our lives and I am excited about it.

Additionally, we have at least three 2-3 day trips planned over the course of this last calendar quarter. In fact, when you get right down to it, I'll actually be spending more total time with her in public and in broad daylight than I ever have. She doesn't need Rick's fucking agreement and or anyone's permission. For all intents and purposes, as of right now, she's a free woman. She can see and do whatever she chooses to.

She will no longer have to hide, lie about, look the other way or pretend that I am not there when we are out in public around her "friends" or her family. For me, this is the biggest relief of all.

She spent some time with a friend tonight and was told how happy she looked. In fact, she told me that numerous people have told her that she looks really happy. I am very happy about that and am not surprised. She told me when I talked to her about it that for the first time in a long time she doesn't feel burdened with the issues that she's been carrying. For me, this is a tremendous relief.

As of right now, I am extremely happy. The right things are happening and what once was murky is now getting clearer.

There are no guarantees in life, but as I've told Sally numerous times -- that's OK, I don't need guarantees. All I am asking for is a chance to try. If it fails, it won't be because she and I didn't try our best. It just may. Then again, we may be wildly successful! Who knows? The future isn't guaranteed, never is a never a word to use lightly.

Next phase of life, here we come!!! :-D