I can barely believe that I am even writing this post.
In my last post, I wrote about Sally's trip out of town -- it didn't go well. There was lots of conflict between her and Rick. She's never been a good one to "put on a happy face." Whether she's happy or sad, you know what she's thinking and feeling. I happen to like this about her.
This was the point where everything changed for her
We had the chance to be together on Wednesday. We spent some social time together and enjoyed a dinner out on the town. It was nice to be with her in such an environment. We talked about the trip in some detail. As it turns out, it went much differently than it went in my head, as I was feeling sorry for myself. She said that she'd been a real bitch to Rick. Basically, there was no way for him to do anything right. Even the slightest thing set him off. In one sense, the trip was great and in another it was not good at all, because she felt bad about it.
We had a terrific time that night and left each other knowing that we'd see each other the next day. We'd not had sex with each other in close to two weeks and we were both anxious to get our paws on each other.
As is customary, when we first see each other, we just don't rip our clothing off and "get busy"... well, at least, not all the time! LOL Usually, we'll sit down and talk for a bit. Once we've spent some time doing that, we'll gradually move into the fun. As we were talking, she told me that when she was at lunch with her son (the day before), she'd had the conversation with one of her sons about this.
All I could say was -- WOW! I was shocked. I didn't have any idea that she'd do that. Especially since she'd been very concerned about how her children were going to react to such news, given how they reacted to when she divorced their natural father.
The great thing was that, from her account of the situation, her son was very supportive. He asked to be told what the reasons were, but she said that she wouldn't right now. At some point, she would tell him and I know that she will.
This was a significant development for two reasons:
1. When Sally makes up her mind about something, stuff starts moving. In this way, I knew something major had altered for her.
2. The timing on when she brought this up is important, because she originally had been thinking about a 2-year transition out of the relationship, while her son finished his last years of High School. Sally told me that day that she realized that she "cannot take another two years of this."
The other thing that is important to note here is that our relationship just keeps getting better and better with every passing day/week/month/year. She's said on more than one occasion how she's never had a relationship like ours and how satisfied she is. In fact, she also said (regarding our sex life), "how do people go through life and not feel like this?!"
Of course, this is a rhetorical question, but the sentiment underlying it is important. She's been writing more in her private blog about how happy she's been with me and how she's got this burning desire/need to be with me. And she's also been more upfront about the challenges with Rick and how it just seems to keep unwinding.
Well, on this day, she asked me a few questions, along the lines of:
- How do we know what we have is real?
- How do we know that this is going to last?
And we talked about it. We also talked about the challenges and the fact that there are no guarantees. We can do everything right and still have it not turn out well. So what, if we fail? I'd rather live my life fully and enjoy what we can really have, than worry about whether it will last.
I told her that I was her full partner in this and we'd follow it wherever it went. I also told her that, in this life, there aren't many things that one can really promise to another. The thing that I would promise her:
As long as we say that we are in it together, I will never give up on her and I will never give up on us.
I pledged my partnership to her and we committed to each other. As of right now, I've agreed to be monogamous with her.
It was both exciting and confronting. I am finally on the cusp of getting what I've said that I want for a long time. I figured that this would be it, at least for a while. Well, I was wrong.
Yesterday, after my morning run, when I was speaking to her on the phone, she told me that she asked Rick for a divorce!!!
As I heard this, I sat on the other end of the phone, partly ecstatic and partly shocked, thinking to my myself -- "HOLY SHIT!!! This is REAL!!!"
They'd already talked about who is going to move out of the master bedroom and that they aren't going to make any substantive changes to living arrangements until their current lease runs out. There is much to work out about the split, but it's really happening. She'd spent the better part of yesterday being very sad about the breakup. I told her something that really did come from my heart -- "I am so sorry for you."
The truth about it is that I was. I know divorce. It fucking sucks, no way around it. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I know the feelings, the fear and trepidation that go along with it. I also know that she feels as though she's a failure and I'm sorry that she's having to experience this again. She's going to need to grieve, complete things and get it out of her system.
She and I are going to need time to start ramping up our life together, creating a new future that neither one of us would ever occur. From here, we're going to start doing more normal dating activity and getting to know each other. All the typical things that people in love do with each other. I intend to cherish every moment with this girl, because she means that much to me.
I am totally on for this and looking forward to what's ahead of us. I've not been this happy in quite a while. It finally feels like things are turning my way. There are lots of things to take care of and challenges to face.
I can do this. For her, for me -- for us! I love her with all my heart and can't wait to see where this goes!
As goes the old saying -- "be careful what you wish for, as you just may get it!"
... and I couldn't be happier!!!
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