My Date(s) With Kate

From the start, my time with Kate has been different than just about anyone else. No kidding. From the first phone call that we had, I felt more "at home" with her than anyone I have spoken with since. I've also told her this too, so it's not something that I am keeping to myself. ;-)

My past two dates with her have been pretty wild. Let me fill in some details.

Since my last post about dating, I've had two dates with Kate.

The First Date
This date was impromptu and was a little over a week ago. I had an opening in my schedule and so did she, so I suggested that we do something. She agreed. We met at a local restaurant that we both liked [only we didn't really know that we both liked it before then!].

As I'd mentioned in my other post, Date With Rosie, I have been very strict on following my rules. Even with Kate, I'd felt a little uncomfortable trying to even hold her hand. Given some of the very early conversations we'd had on the phone, I was left with the distinct impression that I needed to play things really straight and safe with her.

So, we had a very nice dinner and I suggested that we go for a walk. There is a park near the restaurant, so we head over there and take a lap. We're talking and having a good time, enjoying each others company. Time passes and we return to the parking lot. We are walking back to the car and I start talking about what we might want to do on our next date. We walk up to her car, she turns towards me and then plants a kiss on me.

Needless to say, I was a bit surprised by this. So, I'd actually been wanting to kiss her for a while, so I decided I'd see how it would go, since she'd broken the ice. Here we are in the middle of the restaurant parking lot, cars all around and we're just kissing each other. Seems like we were there about forty minutes (or perhaps longer, I don't know) and I said to her:

"What do you think about changing the venue? My house is very close and I have a nice fire pit out back that would be much more private"

She agreed, so I had her follow me to the house. We got in the house and I gave her the nickel tour of the downstairs, as we worked our way to the backyard. I went to turn on the fire pit and the handle to the gas key broke off in my hand! Darn. I hate it when a plan doesn't come together. So, I apologized and told her that I'd fix it. I invited her back into the house. We're standing in the living room and next thing I know we're locked in each others arms and taking each others clothes off. We proceed to spend the next four and a half hours (no kidding) going at it. Was nothing short of incredible. We finished up at ~2:00 AM and finally we both realized that she needed to leave or neither of us would sleep.

As it turns out, I was going to be at a meeting (for a non-profit group I am associated with) that was going to be held at the facility where she worked the very next day. I called her on the phone and let her know that I would be showing up early. This way, if she could spare a few minutes to meet, it'd be great. I arrived at the facility and called her. She came down to the lobby to meet me and then escorted me into the cafeteria/break area and we started talking.

One of the things that I told her was that, I had been thinking at some point prior to my arriving to meet her, that up until we had kissed that night, I wasn't sure whether she was actually attracted to me or not. I knew that she was enjoying my company (as in friendly), but that is different than being attracted to someone. The two don't have to intersect.

Interestingly enough, she tells me that she was thinking the same thing. In fact, she said that she was thinking of asking me about it -- whether or not I was attracted to her and whether or not there was some sort of "problem". At this point, I told her my basic rules and philosophy. And I also acknowledged that I had wanted to prior to then. At this point, she asked me a serious question:

"If I hadn't kissed you last night, would you have tried to kiss me?"

While I had told her that I had wanted to, I don't think I would have tried. I didn't feel comfortable yet. Of course, once the ice was broken, I had no trouble "running with the ball" from there.

The thing that I recognized out of this interaction was that part of what I was trying to accomplish by not pressing the issue too far, too fast, had almost backfired on me. Part of why I am as nice as I am is because I really am a nice, considerate person. The other part is that there is some fear there. I was never good at dating and my recent experience of it has been limited to Sally. So, it's not like I have much experience to base my actions on. And I do like Kate, so I was also somewhat fearful of messing something up before it really had a chance.

Well, the interesting thing here is that that overcompensation almost had the opposite effect of what I'd intended. She almost thought there was some sort of problem, because I wasn't giving the traditional "buying signs". This was a very important thing for me to learn. I didn't (consciously) realize that I was doing that. It was only examining things in retrospect where I could really see that's what I was actually doing.

At this point, we both agreed that we'd moved beyond that "issue" and that we were happy where things had gone to. It was a convenient point for us to end the conversation and go on about our respective evenings.

The Next Date
We'd talked over the next few days and exchanged some text messages regarding when we'd get together next. We decided that our next opportunity would be on Saturday. She told me when she'd be available and I told her that I'd plan something. I asked her to wear shoes fit for walking and I'd handle the rest.

Saturday arrives and I have planned out what we'd do. I have a nice walk planned, some thoughts about dinner coming together in my mind and then some "evening fun" from there. Well, Kate arrives and I greet her at the door and welcome her in. We started kissing and next thing I know, we're up in my bedroom. Many hours pass. We make some dinner from what I have in my cupboard (hadn't done any shopping yet), spend some more time with each other and then take a nap in each others arms. We wake up and find it's time for her to go home. I escort her out to her car and see her off.

Nothing about this date really went the way that I "planned" it to go. Still, there's nothing about it that I would change and I know that she wouldn't either.

Summary
Both of these dates ended up in our having really great sex, despite not having actually planned to do that. This is merely an observation on my part, not a complaint. I thoroughly enjoy having sex with Kate. It's a very different experience than with Sally. In some ways, it is similar. In some ways, it is more enjoyable. If nothing else, it is definitely different.

The one thing that stands out though that is very distinct for me is that Kate and I do enjoy each others company. We talk, play and have a good time. There is a comfort and an ability to engage there that is a welcome change from what I have experienced. I am really enjoying it.

When I am with her and when I think of her, I am happy -- and we get to be that way with each other in broad daylight!! That's saying something and is a great change for me.

Based upon my initial sense of things, I think my relationship with Kate has legs. Despite that, we're going to take things one measured step at a time.