Bitch On Wheels

Sally has not been feeling well for the past couple of days...

She's convinced this is a virus or some other thing, but I know it's that she just ran herself into the ground. She'd been working out really hard this week (including two nights out with her girlfriends), hardly sleeping and then after she got home from work on Friday, she just crashed-and-burned.

When things don't go well with her, things just don't go well at all. Funny how that works, isn't it?!

Edgy is as edgy does

When this happens, sometimes she gets really edgy. I can see the little wheels spinning in her head and I know well enough to not get caught up in her shit. She gets in these fucking moods and I don't even want to be anywhere close to her.

Being around her when she gets like this is just about as bad as it can possibly get.

You really can't say shit to her about it either. She's like a dog with a bone. She gets her mind made up about something and off she goes -- there's no getting her to back down. It's really quite something to watch... I only wish that I wasn't in such close proximity to it when she goes off the rails.

I took care of her yesterday and was cleaning around the house today, but she's been a *total fucking bitch*.

Then, tonight, she tells me that "we never go to be together at the same time anymore." This was a hot button issue for her in her marriage with Rick. I looked at her and told her "no, that's not true." She came back at me, but I let it go. I wasn't about to get in the middle of *that* tonight. It wouldn't have worked out well for anyone.

Off is off, right?

So she's just not feeling well now, right?! While that may be true, there may be more going on here than meets the eye.

I know, you're saying to yourself:

"Huh? What the heck are you talking about?"

Yes, I know that she is ill right now, but I am also thinking that she's now going into menopause.

Menopause == chemically induced torture

Seriously, it is!

I know this from having survived Sandy's transition through menopause. Some of the hardest shit I had to deal with in my life. She'd have mood swings, irritability, make accusations about me and a whole bunch more.

The years that I was with her in this state were fucking awful. Quite frankly, it made me seriously consider not having a younger mate, because I knew eventually I'd have to "do battle with the monster" again. So, now, I'm looking at the very real possibility that Sally is now entering this stage of life and it scares the shit out of me. Why?

Frankly, I don't know that I've got it in me to survive another round of menopause!

My prayer

Please, God, let me dodge this bullet...